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WELCOME TO OOH LA LAH! JOM MAKAN......SELAMAT DATANG KE BLOG OOH LA LAH! JOM MAKAN Ooh LA lah!..........memang sedap! Beranika jenis hidangan masakan tradisional masyarakat melayu disediakan disini. Kuih muih tradisional yang sungguh menyelerakan untuk disajikan sebagai pencuci mulut. Sememangnya kita patut rasa bertuah kerana berada di bumi Malaysia yang terdiri dari pelbagai kaum,dan pelbagai makanan tradisional masing-masing. Hubungi saya segera untuk menyediakan hidangan2 tradisional bagi menyerikan lagi majlis anda....... OOH LA LAH.....JOM MAKAN! Not everyone is healthy enough to have a front row seat in our lives. There are some people in your life that need to be loved from a distance. It's amazing what you can accomplish when you let go of or at least minimize your time with draining, negative, incompatible, not...going...anywhere relationships. Observe the relationships around you. Pay attention. Which ones lift and which ones lean? Which ones encourage and which ones discourage? Which ones are on a path of growth uphill and which ones are going downhill? When you leave certain people do you feel better or feel worse? Which ones always have drama or don't really understand, know, or appreciate you? The more you seek quality, respect, growth, peace of mind, love and truth around you....the easier it will become for you to decide who gets to sit in the front row and who should be moved to the balcony of your life......Unknown. FOR CATERING OR DELIVERY, PLEASE CALL CHEF LINA AZMAN @ 6016.545.6802 or LEAVE A MESSAGE @ haslinajohari@gmail.com http://oohlalahjommakan.blogspot.com Terima Kasih.

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JOKES - POST

1. An elder couple was lying in bed after they awakened just chatting. The husband suggested whomever thought of the best rhyme could get breakfast in bed. She thought a bit and said: "Ok, shoot."

He thought for a bit and then said: â€œ2 and 2 are 4, 4 and 5 makes 9, I've got my hand on yours, you've got your hand on mine.â€ She thought a bit then said: "2 plus 2 is 4, 4 and 5 makes 9, I know the length of yours, you don't know the depth of mine."

A man was married a beautiful girl. He wanted to be with her every night. But the wife answered: "Sorry. I am tired. Tomorrow." "O.K sweety", and went to sleep.

One day, the man was tired of that story, so he told his wife, please dress with a short skirt and a sexy blouse. We will go to the zoo. The wife curious but follow her husband.

At the zoo, they went to see a gorilla. The husband told her: "Please show your legs. O.k. show your beautiful breast." The gorilla was very enthusiastic and become furious braking the cage. The wife asked the husband: "What I will do now?" The husband answered: "Tell him that you are tired, that tomorrow will be a better day!"

2. A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:

"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."

To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He wwas whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"

3. An 86-year-old man goes for a physical. All of his test results come back normal. The doctor says, " Gary everything looks great. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?" Gary replies, "God and I are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so he's fixed it so when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, *poof* the light goes on. When I'm done, *poof* the light goes off." "Wow, that's incredible," the doctor says.

A little later in the day, the doctor calls Gary 's wife. "Marianne, he says, Gary is doing fine but I had to call you because I'm in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night and *poof * the light goes on in the bathroom, and when he's done, *poof* the light goes off?" "OH MY!" Marianne exclaims.!!!!" "He's peeing in the refrigerator again."

4. A beautiful, voluptuous woman went to a gynecologist. The doctor took one look at this woman and all his professionalism went out the window.

He immediately told her to undress.

After she had disrobed the doctor began to stroke her thigh.

He asked her, "Do you know what I'm doing?"

"Yes," she replied, "you're checking for any abrasions or dermatological abnormalities."

"That is right," said the doctor.

He then began to fondle her breasts.

"Do you know what I'm doing now?" he asked.

"Yes," the woman said, "you're checking for any lumps or breast cancer."

"Correct," replied the shady doctor.

Finally, he mounts his patient and started having sexual intercourse with her.

He asked, "Do you know what I'm doing now?"

"Yes," she said. "You're getting herpes; which is why I came here in the first place!"

5. Never know what an old guy will say. I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes [he's 66]. We decided to get a bite to eat at the food court. I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to him. The teenager had spiked hair in different colors-green, red, orange and blue. My dad kept staring at her. the teenager kept looking and would find my dad staring everytime. When the teenager had had enough, she sarcastically asked: "What's the matter, old man, never done anything wild in your life?" Knowing my dad I quickly swallowed my food so I would not choke on his response: I knew he would have a good one! In classic style without batting an eyelid: "Got stoned once and made it with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my daughter."

6. A middle age gentleman got an urge one day to do something that he always wanted to do, but never had the courage. He bought himself a brand new Corvette from a dealership. While driving his brand new Corvette on the interstate, a highway patrolman pulled in behind the middle age man in an attempt to pull him over.

He thought to himself "I can outrun this cop" and floored the accelerator, quickly picking up speed and starting to pull away from the cop. All of a sudden the middle age man realized that he was no longer a kid, and pulled the car over and waited for the highway patrolman.

The highway patrolman walked up to the brand new car smiling. He said "It is about the end of my shift, and I don't want anymore paperwork than what I already have. If you can give me an excuse that I have not already heard today on why you were driving so fast, I will let you go without a ticket".

The middle age man thought for a moment and then said "Well officer, about 10 years ago my wife ran off with a highway patrol and I just thought that you were trying to bring her back."

7. A man was married a beautiful girl. He wanted to be with her every night. But the wife answered: "Sorry. I am tired. Tomorrow." "O.K sweety", and went to sleep.

One day, the man was tired of that story, so he told his wife, please dress with a short skirt and a sexy blouse. We will go to the zoo. The wife curious but follow her husband.

At the zoo, they went to see a gorilla. The husband told her: "Please show your legs. O.k. show your beautiful breast." The gorilla was very enthusiastic and become furious braking the cage. The wife asked the husband: "What I will do now?" The husband answered: "Tell him that you are tired, that tomorrow will be a better day!"

8. A man driving home late at night in his Volkswagen beetle car was stopped by by policemen on patrol. The police asked the man to produce his car document. When they could not fault the document, the next question to the man was: "My friend, do you realise that you committed a criminal offence by driving alone in this car at late night?" The man became angry and responded: "How could you say that? God the father, the son and holy spirit, prophet Elijah and Angels Micheal and Gabriel are all with me in the Car." The policeman replied: "You mean, all these people are in this small car?I charge you for overloading!"